Every once in a while a company enters the market with an interest to make money at the expense of its readers. If you too would like to be part of the digital ecosystem and get penalized by Google for failing to follow simple guidelines, here’s a few things to ensure your property has:
Most businesses hire humans to write content meant to human eyes. You should save money by using content writing software that will stuff keywords and resound an unnatural tone. When your bounce rate skyrockets, you’ll know its working.
If you’re really into pranking internet users, serve them content on your site that is completely different from the tag they saw during search. Use as many 301 redirects you can to send visitors to pages with the same content.
Playing hide and seek was fun as a child, so why not continue with your business? Write text with the same color as the background of your site, using CSS to position the text behind an image or off screen. Many site owners that have been banned or penalized by Google do this in an effort to manipulate search ranking because the very thought in working hard frightens them.
Ignore the red signal on Yoast and stuff keywords in not just the title, meta and first paragraph, but everywhere else too. It’s one of the best ways to tell Google your site is worthless.
Make sure to keep links of your guest bloggers, sponsored content or commentators to DoFollow. Bloggers that follow Google’s guidelines will NoFollow your link though.
Creating original content is too hard so find the top shared article of the day – copy & paste it on your site. Congrats on creating duplicate content. Do this enough and watch in wonder as Google crushes your digital property.
Ranking for a specific keyword, category or phrase is hard work so accept offers to share your links on unrelated sites as often as possible. Google loves shutting down such sites.
Never moderate the comments section of your site to ensure relevance and never change the DoFollow links to NoFollow.
There you have it, a fool proof plan to getting your digital property manually penalized by Google. Have fun creating the mother of all Google Sheets.